I LEAVE SUNDAY!!

As i sit in a lab and realize that I am approaching the 10th hour in a row that I am occupied with activities that keep me indoors I am surprisingly okay with it. This is because I am so close to departure date. I don't talk  much these last few days (weeks really) and I guess it is because I don't want to waste my breath. How involved can I really be in a conversation if my mind is off in the Denver airport? I really have nothing of merit to add to a work conversation. The only things that really distract me from Vail are tiny things like the various shades of grey that permeate the Michigan sky this time of year. The southward bound birds, green colors spread amongst oranges. Simple little things.

I have all but wrapped up life at Such Video. My desk never had much of my identity in it. One would go to it now and find post it notes. A phone book. A small desk lamp. The G4 that made work bearable at times. No personality. There never was any really, just traces of life. Here and there I would leave an article of clothing. A cd. Something given to me by a friend that hadn't made its way home with me yet. Now, nothing but the cold dark whisper of corporate sterility.

My room is the exact opposite. Everything I am taking with me is visible. Skis sit next to travel bags with tags on them that hold words like voyage, journey, travel. On the countertop sits my passport, some deoderant, and a few books sprawled out so as to show me every cover. It is tough deciding what words to take with you. Paper is so heavy and does not weather well. I think I will miss my collection of literature as much as anything. Even the books that I never finished, they always sat there looking at me with confidence that I would someday discover their total message. If they are ever lost I will lose more than just the sum of their parts, their very existence in my collection is a story that I am happy to remember.

My final project, a 60 second video meant to bring to light the plight of American Veterans that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is completed. I think this video will keep me grounded in the notion that my college education was/is worthwhile. I have no regrets about college, the friends I made, the relationships I had/have, my overall experience, but I do always question my current course and whether or not I could be doing something that fully utilizes my abilities and my desires. I think everyone, if they speak truthfully, feels that way.

LB